Sometimes, really...WTF?

Yesterday my husband was in rare form. Maybe spending so much time with the kids isn't good for him. Because he can't handle them. They stress him out. Like I've never seen. And that's not good. My son is difficult to handle on his best days. And even I get a little wigged out. (Is that a word, a real term?) At any rate, my son was being bad. And my spouse was getting irritated and just yelling at him. He has a man's voice, so it's deep, and when he yells it gets worse. Well my son did something childlike and stupid and threw his cup on the floor along with some rice. My husband kind of snapped with his patience, and he grabbed our son and forcefully plopped him back into his seat, and yelled at him even more aggressively than before.



At this point, my son started to cry. He wanted mommy. He was scared. He always tells me when I yell or daddy yells that it scares him, so I knew that he really meant it. I stopped eating to just scowl at my husband. Why was he being such an ass? Couldn't he try to be a little more compassionate as our son has been sick this week with fever and throwing up? Could he? No? I wasn't eating. Just scowling. I asked my son to come see me, I hugged him and calmed him down. My spouse says to me, "If you just baby him, then he is always going to act like this."

Nice. That went over really well with me. First of all, my son was scared, he always says that he is scared when he gets yelled at. If he spent any amount of real time with him, he would know that. Second, how would he know how our child really feels? Third, I can baby my 3 year old all that I want. Especially when he is sick, especially when he is getting yelled at for no good reason. Yes the child is difficult, yes he drives me crazy too. But there are times when you can and should rightfully yell at him. But this, in my opinion, was not one of those times.

I told my spouse that I felt uncomfortable. And this pretty much tipped him the wrong way. You could see his face change. As if I just told him some horrible news. He looked angry. Now let me clarify that when I say uncomfortable I don't mean "scared", I just meant that I did not like the way that the situation was being handled, or how he was acting. Or what he said and how he said that I was taking his side. I wasn't aware that there were sides to choose.

He was being an ass. And he told me that he was very angry at my comment of being uncomfortable. He said that it implied that I was scared or terrified that he might do something that would endanger our safety. Once I clarified my statement, he still didn't seem any better. Said we would talk about it later. (We didn't.)

I just don't like the short fuse he has for our son. I know better than anybody, exactly how difficult he is. And it drives me up the wall when my husband is in the house for 20 minutes and loses his patience. He does this a little more than I'd like to see.

And this morning. First, let me share that my son is a renowned puker. As a baby, there wasn't a week that would go by that he didn't throw up at least once. And when he was sick, or shall I say, is sick, he pukes. Well this morning he was coughing. That is the first sign that you. MOVE. YOUR. ASS. And spouse just slowly sits up on the bed, and encourages this 3 year old to go to the bathroom. yeah. While he sits by and does nothing. I pretended to be asleep since spouse was already wide awake. I wanted to see how he would handle this. Son didn't really know what to do with himself. But he wandered back to the bed. And he still coughed. I could hear it coming. And spouse then got out of the bed, but then realizing it was too late, son lets it go all over the floor.

I looked up at spouse and said, "That's all on you." He looked incredibly annoyed with my statement and said, "Enough." But of course I don't think so. I retorted, "I can go on and on if I like, you were the one who basically ignored him." He was thoroughly unhappy as he had to clean up the child's vomit. At least it was off of a hard floor and not carpet.

And you want to know what else? This isn't the first time this has happened. You would have thought he might have learned by now. When son was tiny, he was coughing after being fed, and I told spouse, "You better move." To which he did not. It gave me a nice smirk to see my son cover the entire front of spouse's chest with the contents of his stomach. Good one son.

Well we didn't iron anything out last night. I guess after our dinner, he felt better and just wanted to make believe that it didn't happen. Whatever.

I guess I'm just irritated about any one of a number of things. Like, why can't he compliment my hair color?? Because he's a man and can't notice the insignificant yet subtle change of my hair? Well, I might give him that, had he not seen me actually put the chemicals on my hair. I might accept that.

But the fact that I am blogging about this, alone tells me that I am not OK with it. His inattention to me. Don't get me started on the whole ignoring bit. I will save that one for later.