One more night.

We had a talk last night. I told him that I suspected he might be cheating on me. He explained over and over that the only reason behind is actions is absolute and sheer stupidity. For taking me for granted, for not treating me the way that I deserve to be treated. He agreed that he was not doing a good job.

And as for Friday night, he went to that bbq, and came home 4 hours later than expected without even so much as a phone call. I was pretty upset about that. And he didn't have anything to say. Just "I'm sorry." And honestly, I'm sorry, just doesn't make me feel any better.

Today, even though we spoke about him helping me out more, he layed in bed until 11:15. Now that he is up, he is sweeping and cleaning a bit. But still. I was the one taking care of the kids. Again. So. I'm just glad that I can put this on the back burner for a while.

I don't think it would be fair to make a decision while we still live in Chile. That would be wrong. At least in my eyes it would be.

He brought me a picture of our wedding day. He asked if I remembered that day. Of course I do. But why did he bring it? What is he thinking? If he has something to say, God please just let him say it. I can't take this song and dance. I can't take any more of his "withholding" his thoughts, his emotions. I just can't.

Earlier, he was walking around with an angry look on his face. I asked him what was wrong.
He said nothing. I am going to snap. I told him I couldn't take much more of this.

Anyway. That's what is going on here. I think he is mad once again because we are leaving. But he has to do better. He can't keep making me feel like shit just because we go.